A Rabbi, Priest, and Bass Player walk into a bar ...

If you are a person who is easily offended by musician jokes, brace yourself.

OK, you were warned:

Question: How can you identify a trombone player's kids on the playground?
Answer: They can't swing and have trouble with the slide.

Question: What do you do if there is a lead singer knocking at your door?
Answer: Nothing, they can't keep a beat and never know when to come in anyway.

Q: How do you tell a drummer is knocking at your door?
A: The knocking speeds up.

I went to the Brain Store the other day seeking an upgrade. There was a teacher's brain $1,000, a Physicist's brain $10,000, and a Bass Player's brain for $100,000. I had to ask,"Why is the Bass Player brain so expensive?" "Because," replied the proprietor,"They are so rare and hardly ever used."

Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: You can tune a chainsaw.

I took my wife on a second honeymoon to a tropical paradise. Against my better judgment we went on a walking tour of the island. Off in the distance I heard native drums. I alerted our guide who immediately dismissed my concerns. After a brief period I noticed the drums becoming louder and more angry. "It's nothing," our guide replied to my inquiry. Once again the drums got louder and even more intense. "Don't concern yourself," retorted the guide. This time he had a tone of annoyance. Then the drums stopped. "Run for your lives!" He screamed as he ran by us in the opposite direction. I grabbed him by the arm and asked," What's the big deal?" He frantically pointed in the direction of the now silent drums, "Only one reason drum stops!" he cried ashen faced. "Bass solo....!!!!!!"

 ^^^

Definition of a semitone: Two trombones playing in unison.

 

I like that bass-ball photo. Will have to use that.